Why Should You Marry For Love?


It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife and vice versa even though most of the females may not have had any fortune before being paid for. This piece is not really based on who has what fortune before marriage, it is out to state that if one bases one’s reason for marrying someone on love, one could be doomed.

Sandra walked to her parents happily one evening to reveal the reason for her happy mood that day. Jerry had proposed to her. Her dream will finally come to pass. She will marry someone she has always loved. “Marriage is a vocation. It involves absolute carefulness and dedication. It therefore means that you have to look before you leap” the father admonished. “I love Jerry” Sandra anxiously said with the hope of getting her father’s approval since the mum has always been in support of it. They had been dating for four years. She really loved him. “Why do you love him” Sandra’s father queried. She had no reason… “I just love him dad” Sandra coldly affirmed. She was glad the father approved her getting married to the love of her life.
Every arrangement was made, and then Jerry wedded Sandra. One year after their wedding, things started changing. Jerry’s attitude was no longer appealing as it had seemed to Sandra. She thought… “This is not the Jerry I dated for four years… this is not the Jerry I married” she would sob. Jerry had begun clubbing and sleeping out. Things he seemed not to have done while they dated, Jerry started doing.
Why does a woman work tirelessly for years to change a man, and then complain he's not the man she married? She loved him for unclear reality. She was blissfully unaware of the peril she was about entering when her father was asking questions. “What are his unique qualities” the father once asked. “He is my kind of man” She responded. I sincerely agree with Albert Einstein on the point that men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Jerry had always known that Sandra was a good girl and every girl whether good or bad, wants to be with a good man too. Jerry had to settle for pretence. He had pretended to be whom he was not and made Sandra fall for him. Sandra was now his wife; he had no course to pretend anymore.
Let’s assume that Sandra had taken her time to go into details about whom her husband to be was, by now she would not sob. If she had brought out those qualities she needed in a man and then cross-checked those of Jerry, she would have been happy. If she had put love aside, followed up and married Jerry for the qualities, then I bet you, the qualities would have triggered her love for him the more. Jerry was wiser. He looked at her own qualities and married her for them. He married her with the hope that she will never change. Now Sandra hopes that Jerry changes back to his pretentious days. What a pity!
However, I have come to understand that you will never make a good wife or husband if you are always in love. Being in love will definitely not allow you to use your head. The fact is, “by all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates stated. By this, if you don’t use your head, you wouldn’t know whether he or she is a bad one. Then instead of being a philosopher (wise one), you become foolish. All of these happen because you put love first even when most people don’t know what this love is. When you put love first, it blindfolds you, you may not know what you may be doing.
Like a friend of mine said on his facebook wall sometime ago… among all who claim to love their partner, how many will stay if for instance, after your wedding, while in your honeymoon, you now discover that the person you have been dating has been the same sex with you? It means that we should have watched out for the qualities first. This would have determined the extent of the love you will give or get.
Finally, if you dare convince anyone to marry you simply because you love him or her, and if eventually the person does not love you in return, double jeopardy. Wait a minute! What if he or she says they love you? The question I will keep asking is, “How do you know he or she loves you?”… And for those who will always claim saying “O! He is my first love, I can’t leave him”… remember that first love may not always be the best love.
This is to every unmarried one out there, most especially females. Put love first, you will one day cry but if you put qualities first then you will fly.

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About Eustace Dunn

24 comments:

  1. Ok, when I put love and quality together, I will marry. Story, for me it is love, sex and money, SUGA.

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    1. Which comes first is what you ought to look at.

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  2. Honestly, Dunn u are right. I did not even reason it this way before o.

    Kendo Nwa

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  3. I happen to walk out of a relationship of 3 years & 7 months which is very difficult for me back then because of my ex's promiscuous act.
    Back then, I was been condemned by people saying that human being is not perfect,
    that the next person I'm going to meet too if he is promiscuous will I dump him again too that I should manage him, people will start counting how many people I have dated and they will start calling me prostitutes. If I have eventually marry him by now, are those people going to be around nursing the heartaches, betrayal, diseases and infection is going to afflict on me.
    Back then it was very difficult and painful for me leaving but I'm glad I did. So I agree wit u, we should not married for love but watch out for qualities which eventually make us fall in love when choosen our future partners.

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    1. Hmmm! Story that touches the hrt... thanks Carol. Then u have to share and preach it on to ur friends.

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    2. Will they care to listen? Girls are like goats, when they have not seen what is at the bottom of something, their eye no go clear.

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  4. Nice concept bro. But how can quality surpass love?

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    1. qualities like loyalty, tolerance, God fearing. because loves fades, these qualities are the thing that will keep you both going for the rest of ur lives

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  5. Hmm... Carol! Share it and tell them.

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  6. ''Why Should You Marry For Love?''
    Wen i saw dis, i was like dis Dunn again! shld i now marry smone i hate? but wen i read down d write up, i said waoh! he's on point...thumb up!
    Dis thing called love is very dangerous and cunny, u shld always control ur emotions, dont allow ur emotions control u, no body is perfect....fine, but why shld u put ur head wen u've seen smtn u cant endure 4 d rest of ur life in d name of love? it's a stupid act and d love is nonsense love.
    Carol i share same kind of story wt u,he wasnt being promiscuous anyway but was putting up some characters dat i couldnt just explain let alone swallow 4 life. i had 2 quit.
    And d most important tin wen u want 2 quit is, so long as u know wat u're doing, tell urself......''i know pple will talk'' pls dont listen bc nobody will carry d burden wt u wen d time comes.
    Am speaking 2 ladies now, pls check qualities 1st, good and useful qualities, not 'he doesn't club,he doesnt drink,he doesn't tell me i love u, he doesn't call me 100 times a day den he's not my kind of guy.....no no no! Good qualities will make u love him and be proud of him any time any day and u'll live and die happily.
    Dunn kudos! May God strengthen u more...........thumb up.

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    1. Wow! I am speechless! Go ye into the world and preach this so that no marriage will break prematurely. Thanks all... endeavour to share this on your wall.

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  7. All say Qualities!!!

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  8. @ Evans, this guy is really wowing us all. who can thought that all these philosophy ideas are coming out in his small head. I used to look him as a small man but he is a big person wit a whole lot of ideas being place in a smaller body. Keep the pen flowing.

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  9. I so wish people wil learn from this piece. I so wish I can ever stop loving and face quality. But so far, I hav not had issues in my relationship o. Its been 5years, though we quarrel atimes. I lov the piece, it has opened my eyes.

    Tosin Obajeun

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  10. Hmmm... no one is trustworthy o! We just commit all to God.

    Chioma Adione

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  11. Hey bro... In the aspect of Jack having to pretend for those years, I dont agree wit that. Pretence does not last dat long. Sandra should have known too...she had friends. Friends watch iut for their friend. Me I think love covers everything. With lov, no matter how u may be, someone wil accept u d way u ar. In fact... Love first joo!

    Erere Gbubemi from Warri.

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  12. Hmm... These ar tru stories dat touch. I am in support of qualities. @Erere, supposing u ar to buy a generator set, wil just begin to like it? There ar things u check bcos u want it to last longer. Be wise... Like my brother would say.

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  13. Titilope Adesina2 March 2013 at 11:41

    Hmm! Dunn Dunn! Always bringing up controversial topics even on face book. Weldon joo.

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  14. Hmmm... Why marry for love? The qualities should be the thing dat will even make u love the person involved. U cant just see someone and begin to lov him or her... there must hav been something dat captured this lov. Some gals or guys lov for money, finness, and other things which may not last in that wen they fade away, there is now a diminishing return of the lov. But when u look at the true being and trait of this person involved, and u like them, and the person's rhyme wit urs, then nothing spoil.

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  15. Titilope Adesina3 March 2013 at 00:25

    U ar so right @Ayo.

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  16. marriages can not fare well without love. Trouble is what is love? The majority can't recognize love even if you rub their noses in it.

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    1. Lol@ Eric... U are right but then, think about it the other way round.

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